飛び去ってゆく

[personal] Birthday

2008-11-18T13:28:20Z

Happy Birthday theresa_lynne</span>!!! I hope you can enjoy your day, do something utterly selfish for yourself, take time to treat yourself :D

[Personal] Birthday

2008-11-06T11:30:36Z

Happy Birthday Kate keight_michelle!!! I hope you get some rest, some celebration fun times away from work ^_^ maybe have a chance to showcase your awesome Mirotic moves? XDD

*GLOMPS* <333333

[meme] Icon one~

2008-11-05T23:15:02Z

Hi. wow. It's been a while. Plurk has taken over my life. and is my new OTP MinSu??? o.O egads folks. But it's the best place to find me, so come on in, join the plurk crew ^_^b

Meme ftw! ^_^

1. Reply to this post, and I will pick five of your icons.
2. Make a post (including the meme info) and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
4. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon squee.
List chosen by milena_1980

Junsu smile~ I love glasses!Su so much, especially in the Bonjour Paris shoot. So lovely. The handcam movie effect with larger black frame and rounded edges is something I really like too. jecca_o9 makes such lovely icons ^_^

Gods I love this pic. It's Min from a Purple Line performance, and I forever associate this with lovelots too haha, even though I don't know them at all. I was a little wary using it at first with the swear word, but sometimes it's so damn perfect.

Pretty and whimsical, which I always love about Chun -- he can be very manly and yet very sensitive too. There's a vulnerability, a rawness to him, and I think it naturally attracts people, since he's comfortable in exposing himself so readily.

Beanie Min. Pach with her awesome amazing Min icons. I'm not sure if this was one of the first batches I got from her, but that was my first association with skylust, awesome icon maker. I love the casual, laid back-ness, and this photoshoot was one of my favorites.

I remember seeing this icon and being like HOMG where is that pic from??? XD Shirtless Yunho before Mirotic is so rare, but these are from the Tuhon period. Looking good leadersshi~

[personal]Birthday

2008-10-29T17:12:34Z

At work so I have to make this short, but

Happy Birthday jaejin !!!!!!!!!!

[FIC] JaeMin~

2008-10-23T03:37:20Z

I've been plurking WAAAAAY too much recently but I thought of this little bit and wanted to share. ^_^

Title: Warmth
Pairing: JaeMin
Genre: Romance, fluff
Rating: PG
A/N: For the JaeMin fangirls~ keight_michelle, theresa_lynne, mrsedjack, and a special shoutout to roselit who inspired this story. いろいろと辛いかもしれないけれど、絶対に大丈夫だよ〜！願っています〜 <333 Hope you like!

You're sitting on the floor, leaning against the sofa with your knees tucked in and glasses resting on your nose. It's getting colder, fall is soon approaching, and you burrow yourself more into the fuzzy blanket you've stolen from the music room.

Your hands are still cold though, exposed, as they are flipping the pages of a manhwa. It's one you read all the time, one that makes you smile, one that makes you laugh. It reminds you of simpler times with your childhood and you wonder what the hell you're doing here in a country whose language you can't speak, whose culture you can't quite grasp.

But the joy you feel from reading the manhwa is short-lived, and you're frustrated. It feels like a cheap gimmick, a temporary distraction that doesn't really ease what's bothering you.

"I want..." you start to mouth, wondering if you speak out loud, your inner thoughts will be realized. Vocalized. But the words don't come out and you close your eyes, sigh.

When you open your eyes, you realize that you've been asleep and your back feels funny sleeping upright. But your neck is okay, and you turn slightly to a sleeping Jaejoong, quiet and peaceful on the sofa.

"Hyung?" you whisper, wondering if he's awake still.

His eyes flutter open, those deep grey irises suddenly looking at you and it's so intense, you almost wonder if you can breathe. But he grins, quirky and silly, and you let go of the breath you've been holding.

"You kept murmuring to yourself and mumbling. I figured if you had a warm presence nearby, you might feel better, have pleasant dreams. And it seemed like it worked. So I just stayed."

You blush slightly, feeling self-conscious at being caught sleep talking again.

"Thanks hyung," you say quietly.

You're not quite sure if it's the proximity of another person so close to you, but you find yourself glancing at Jaejoong's nose, at his jaw, at those full lips. You wonder what it would be like to kiss a boy, to kiss Jaejoong and wish your natural curiosity about everything wouldn't make you think things like this.

You've always been comfortable with Jaejoong, but you've never been the best with words with him. Sometimes it feels like you're on parallel tracks of conversation forever, within view of each other, but never intersecting.

"Changmin is thinking too hard~" Jaejoong singsongs slightly, looking amused.

There is one thing though, that's similar about you two with speech. It all comes out, unchecked sometimes and spontaneous.

"I wonder what it's like to kiss a boy," you say to yourself, and you suddenly blush, wondering if you've overstepped the line. Did Jaejoong hear you?

Jaejoong cocks his head, and by his expression, he has.

"Uh, um," you say intelligently.

"Did you want to?" Jaejoong asks, calm and unwavering. "It doesn't have to mean anything, you know."

Now you're incredibly curious, but you wonder if this isn't somewhat unfair somehow, like Jaejoong is just some experiment for you to try.

"No strings attached, Changminnie," and Jaejoong leans closer.

You don't trust yourself, but you nod anyway and close your eyes.

The touch of lips is electric, his smooth soft skin grazing across your dry, chapped ones. He nibbles slightly before slowly opening, coaxing your mouth to respond. You're not quite sure what you're doing, but you try and follow, part your lips too.

His wet tongue shocks you and you gasp. You suddenly feel hot, aroused, needy, wondering how a simple touch leaves you so wanting.

But he leans back and smiles a little wistfully, and you're left cold for the second time that night.

"It's not always what you think it is. Let it sit, come back to it later." Jaejoong sits up, ruffles your hair and heads towards the kitchen.

Days later, you're nervous and stammering, but you know what it is. You ask Jaejoong on a date.

You do it the right way.

[personal] a post before I forget :D

2008-10-20T14:07:47Z

Happy Birthday <lj-user=jecca_o9>!!!

and I'm back to work~ @_@

[FIC] HET. 2U for Pandora~

2008-10-16T01:34:07Z

Gah. Remind me again NOT to take on co-worker's responsibilities because it is seriously making me tired, overworked and stressed.

Which is probably why I even wrote this, (oh gods) and uh. oh man. I just don't know. keight_michelle was talking about het crossovers and then for some reason I thought of this image and yeah. Maybe I'll go somewhere with it, maybe not. Funny how I write when I'm the most stressed with work ^^;;

I'm still on semi-hiatus. I know. it's lame D:

Title: Inner Needs
Pairing: Yunho/OFC
Rating: NC-17.
Genre: Smut.

He keeps thinking of a line from a yaoi manga he read and it just won't go away.

"You like it up the ass; therefore, you are gay."

Maybe he is gay. Maybe he isn't. He's not sure anymore because fuck, he's in so much pain and pleasure that he's wallowing in his most base, physical needs and thinking is taking too much energy.

Or maybe, he's just a hedonist. That'd be the easiest classification.

"H-harder," he chokes out, the rubbery plastic pounding into him as manicured hands grip tight on his hips.

The sudden press of breasts against his back as he straightens up slightly to move closer reminds him just how wrong this should be, but it arouses him more, and he can just imagine it, the voluptuous body slamming into him as he's slightly bent over on his knees.

She tugs at his erection and he loses it, comes hard and long and collapses on his side as she pops out. He's suddenly presented with her mound, wet and dripping and he eagerly licks, fast and hard until she moans, gasps, thrusts hard against his tongue.

"You should try a real man sometime," she says, as if it's like ordering coffee. "Feels even better."

Title: When Yoochun Decided to Take Over the Band
Rating: R for language, implied content
Pairing: Yoochun/Yunho
Genre: Crack, smut, attempts at humor
A/N: For milena_1980! And I feel a little bad for giving you this cracky, ridiculous thing when you've gotten such lovely gifts from others, but this is what came out and I hope you will like it? ~~you can let me know if you hate it too, but I will cry and sic horny desperate Yoochun on you, uh, um...XDDDD~~

Anyway. Yes. To the story, Batman! :3

He's U-Know Yunho dammit, dance master fiend full of manliness and sexual prowess, a leader who imbues power and endurance. He's perfected the look of cocky arrogance with his furrowed brows, the knowing smirk that dares anyone to challenge him, the aggressive stance.

So why the hell is he turning into a soppy, sappy, wibbly freakin' fanboy when he sees Yoochun, smooth and open-mouthed and lewd and touching himself with no shame at all? He's a guy, he's not supposed to be acting like one of those crazy fangirls.

He's trying to focus but that one look of bliss pushes him over the edge and he has to look away, school his expression, keep repeating to himself I am one badass mofo, I am one badass mofo, otherwise he'll crack and swoon like the girls in the front.

The blessed performance is finally over and Yunho can dash to their dressing room to peel off his sweaty performance clothes and chug ice water to cool his overheated body.

His brain shrieks at him a minute later, and he winces at the pain. Stupid cold water.

"Yunho hyung~"

Yunho glances up to see Yoochun, leaning against the wall and looking incredibly smug.

Hoshitz, he totally knows, and Yunho wants to run far, far away, hoping to gods he doesn't have to suffer, but it's too late, and,

"Looks like you have a problem there. Maybe I can help," and it's commeth, that low, deep, husky voice that makes Yunho shiver and sweat.

"Hahaha, ah, no, it's okay, I'm just going to go the bathroom, I'll be back soon!" Escape to the bathroom it is! Yunho's about to prance away in the manliest stride he can muster but Yoochun grabs his arm and drags him off to the nearest broom closet.

"You're going to fuck me, Jung Yunho, with all that god given, toned to perfection muscle and strength you have and give me exactly what I need, because I know you want it just as much, so fuck me so hard I can't walk," and Yoochun literally glues himself to Yunho's body and starts rubbing against him like there's no tomorrow.

Yunho's brain at this point has decided that it's suffered too much, what with all the sex faces Yoochun's been pulling on him all during the performance, the stupid ice water, and that deadly, lecherous, greasy voice.

Fuck it, he thinks to himself and he starts tearing off their clothes, kissing Yoochun aggressively and attempting to open the bottle of lube Yoochun's somehow managed to hand to him. He's a man of action, decision made with no looking back, so Yunho fucks Yoochun, hard and rough and slippery and hot and is in complete and utter bliss for one minute as he comes.

And then realizes too late that his legs are incredibly cramped, his muscles ache, and various brooms have decided to make themselves known by poking themselves into his back. Plastic and wood have never felt so painful in Yunho's life.

But he just sees Yoochun's utterly debauched and contented expression and he forgets all of that.

Until Jaejoong opens the door and starts yelling and stammering and exclaiming so loud that Changmin and even Junsu look up and are scarred for life.

Yunho wants to crawl in the deepest, darkest hole possible.

Yoochun grins.

"Don't worry, they're next."

[personal] Unproductive. So...

2008-10-08T04:20:47Z

I'm not really back, but I have been trying to catch up in spurts. I just feel like I need to take breaks or else I'll just go crazy.

Random flailing, but so happy because I requested a new header and it's SO BEAUTIFUL. XD. GUH. yay for new layouts!

1) Mirotic everything, MV, performances, GUH. So much skin. Rawr. and pimp jewelry. It's kinda amazing. Wrong Number has been playing NONSTOP. And onikoinu and exitwinesburg? Might be the piece to inspire that MinSu ;p

2) New interviews and shows! JaeMin cooking? YooSu ridiculous moments with play doh? More skin? SuJu Dong Bang fun? awesome.

3) I was helping a friend find a dress for an event and found some cheap awesomely hot black patent heels. I also found some insanely dominatrixy laceup, 4 inch stilletto boots with side buckles, heel cutouts, and peep toe openings (black suede). They were so badass and sexy. Obviously, didn't buy them, but maybe I'll just oggle them every time I walk by the store.

4) LOVE THIS SONG. It's the elektropop version of the song "Falling Away" used for a Sprite commercial during the Beijing Olympics time (the one where the basketball court becomes a swimming pool).

and I'm out~. need to sleep -_-;;

[FIC] JaeHo.

2008-09-18T22:09:12Z

Something that was tucked away in my drafts a long time ago that I never posted. *crawls back into hole*

Title: Dissect the Mind and Pull the Threads Out
Pairing: JaeHo
Rating: PG-13 for implied content
Genre: OMG it got fluffy ^^;; romance, some angst.
A/N: I started this like months ago and finally finished it.
I remember seeing the following text somewhere, but I totally can't remember for the life of me where I got it. If you know where it's from, just comment and I'll credit properly ^^v

If I tell you I love you,
will you hold it against me?
If I tell you I need you,
will you walk away?

You're in there, I'm sure, making some woman laugh, girls stare at you, and men envy you, your confident stance forming an aura. I imagine you're smiling your silly grin, looking so obliviously happy like there's nothing wrong in the world and that you're where you want to be.

Oh, don't worry, you didn't promise a thing, so don't feel guilty, don't feel obligated, at all. I sometimes wonder what the hell I am to you, whether it's just some twisted circle, a spiral that tumbles down and down with no sign of upward escape.

I hate you.

I want you.

In my darkest moments, I wonder sometimes, flirting with the idea of whether a vertical slash down my pale wrist and a pool of blood, ebbing, flowing, the crimson essence bleeding into your world would mean anything. What would you do? How would you react? It's a selfish, self-centered thought, childish and petty, manipulative. I hate myself for thinking it. And I know I'll never actually do it. But the thought lingers, a misty darkness that sometimes appears suddenly like fog on a moor.

Do you know there are times when I smell your cologne, when I cap open your shampoo to tease myself, when I sit at your workstation chair just after you've been working to steal your warmth and to have it wrap around my body? It's a desperate need, one that gnaws and pulls and tugs hard, leaving me heaving and heady.

This wasn't so hard before, Yunho, when we were just trainees learning, singing, dancing, working so hard to debut, to be in a group, to rise to the top as artists. And yet now, those small, private moments keep slipping away, keep fading, as I find myself grasping for those times late at night even though you're insanely tired or those early mornings when I'm bleary eyed, but for some reason you're completely awake and energetic.

I'm laughing through it all, I'm smiling through it, I'm engaging and talking, keeping myself busy and surrounding myself with sound so I don't have to think about it, to face it when those moments of silence come and my inner thoughts invade my senses. It's easy you know, since we're doing so much in both Japan and in Korea. I can delude myself, keep my mind distracted, focus on something else. Words, shouts, whispers, melodies, the scattered notes of a piano, the rush of shower water, the dull hum of the television, sound sound sound to fill my ears full.

But at nights, I'm alone again with my thoughts swirling, images of you, of your sweet, gentle smiles, of those silly pouts you only do when there are no cameras, the feel and touch of your hands concerned if I don't look okay or if I trip or I stumble, the serious sex expression as I've dubbed it in my own mind your face shows when you're dancing, performing sweaty and suave. The images tumble and cascade together, one after another until the reels of my mind threaten to choke on the fast forwarding and rewinding.

I try to sleep.
----------------------------------
I'm breaking. I can't hold it. I'm failing. It's leaking.
-----------------------------------
You looked at me strangely today. I'm not sure what it was, but for some reason, your head was quirked and your gaze lingered.

I'm still keeping busy these days. I practice, I cook, I compose on the piano, I play fight with Changmin, I laugh with Junsu, I have long conversations with Yoochun. I figure it's one of those things that will fade away slowly until it's just a dull ache.

But you keep looking at me. It's been happening more and more often. I ask you if anything's wrong, but you brush it away with a tight smile. Am I doing something wrong? Are you mad at me?

Do you know?

That thought alone leaves me trembling and I'm extra careful to not touch you too much, to not be overly friendly. Changmin and Yoochun become my targets more and more often when I need a hug or warmth or a touch. It's easy to be silly and random, it's easy to be childish and laugh and be giddy with them.

I'm just feeling more and more awkward with you.
------------------------------
I think Yoochun knows.
------------------------------
Actually, Changmin is the one who corners me one evening when I'm about to make a late night snack. He looks at me, serious and scarily perceptive, and I try to plaster on a smile that I hope doesn't look too fake.

"Hyung..." his tone of voice lets me know he doesn't buy it, not even for a second.

"What's up Changminnie?" I check the water again, but it's still not boiling.

"Shouldn't I ask you? You've been acting distracted, rambling more than usual and looking really... well, more than just physically tired. What's wrong with you hyung?" Changmin's words hit me hard and he seems annoyed with me.

I'm incredibly tempted to hit him, to say fuck off, and I'm about to glare at him, but he's looking at me not with frustration, but concern, brows furrowed with worry. He seems to pick up on my anger.

"I'm just worried. Actually, I was hoping the other hyungs would say something. But it doesn't seem like they have since you're still acting funny."

There's a pause, but I just shake my head and say I'm been feeling a little sick lately so I might have been acting strange. Even I can tell how fake my words must sound.

"Is it Yunho hyung?"

The metal pot lid clatters to the floor, my hands suddenly shaking and trembling on their own accord. I'm trying desperately not to run away.

"Hey guys! I'm starved, just was in the music room composing... uh, did I interrupt something?" Yoochun's entered the kitchen and he looks at me and Changmin.

I laugh suddenly.

"Nothing, nothing at all Yoochunnie. Kimchi flavor ramen good with you?"

I won't, can't look at Changmin. I feel like a coward.
------------------------------
It's funny how numb you can make yourself feel. And yet, it's the only thing keeping me alive.
------------------------------
When I fail to connect the moves for the 20th time, Yoochun groans and Changmin collapses on the ground. Junsu's in his own little world, going through his moves, perfectly as usual while Yunho is biting his lip, hard. I fear he's going to yell at me.

"Let's take a break guys," he says instead, sounding incredibly resigned and tired. I slump on the dance floor, feeling failure and wishing that he had shouted at me, yelled at me, just so I could feel that I had gotten the right punishment. Yunho stalks out of the room, presumably to get some fresh air and water.

I see a towel in front of me and look up at Yoochun's face. He smiles, kindly, and sits down next to me against the dance mirrors.

"Jaejoongie?" Damn him and his voice, for sounding so caring and concerned.

"Yeah?" I shut my eyes and lean back against the cool mirror.

"You wanna talk about it later and let me know what's going on?"

I sigh, but nod anyway, knowing it's probably for the best.
------------------------------
Remind me again why I am so crazy and why I am even considering this.
------------------------------
"No, you have to turn like this on count 4. 1, 2, 3, turn and then hips like this, and da da dan, and stop."

I'm trying, trying very hard not to glare. I don't know what's been wrong with me lately, just so easily distracted and unable to focus on anything.

No, that's not true. I know exactly what my problem is, and it starts with the letter "Y" and ends in "-unho."

"Your hips aren't quite swaying on the right count. It's like this, here," and I feel his hands clutch hot on my body and it's hard not to jump, to be startled. He's only trying to help after all.

Somehow, I get through it, feeling somewhat stupid and annoyed that someone younger has to show me, though it's been like this for years. Anyway, my anger is misplaced.

He stands behind me and moves with me to make sure I get the motion just right. My body finally gets it and it all clicks and I whoop in joy, feeling ridiculous and relieved.

"Finally!" I say, and he beams, chortles out his eung kyan kyan.

The door slams open and it's Yunho, looking irked for some reason. But he glances at me quickly and just calmly says,

"You guys done? We're going home now."

We nod after exchanging a glance.

Yunho ends up sitting next to me on the van, the ride eerily silent except for Junsu and Changmin bickering about some small detail.
------------------------------
You've been touching me more, gripping my hand or my hip, almost possessively. Hope is getting the better of me.
------------------------------
I'm in the studio room, playing a melody and writing down some lyrics that flash in my head. It's late, 2 AM, but I feel inspired, a little more energetic than usual. Yoochun, my usual midnight partner in crime, is with his family tonight. Changmin and Junsu are wiped out from their earlier workout session and Yunho is taking a bath.

I lean back and close my eyes. I'm imagining a sandy dune with some grassy clumps, leading to a blue, blue ocean which stretches onwards to the horizon. Maybe we'll be able to go to Jejudo again, or Okinawa, or Bora Bora when we're much, much older, with more time.

I can almost smell the sweet scent of flowers and feel the spray against my face.

I realize two seconds later that a water droplet has actually hit my nose and there's a warmth near my back that wasn't there before. My eyes fly open.

They look up to see him, Yunho, hair spiked and wet with an unreadable expression on his face. I find myself looking, gazing, not quite understanding what's going on.

"Yunho?" I ask, wondering why he's standing over me. My first instinct is that something is wrong, that there's no reason for him to be here, this close.

He swallows and breaks our gaze to turn towards a chair, drag it towards mine. He's in a loose T-shirt, some boxers, and has his towel wrapped around his shoulders.

Yunho, is of course, ever direct.

"You've been avoiding me. No wait, let me finish. I know we've been busy, but I need to know what's wrong, what's going on. Did I do something?" His voice is determined, and his expression is serious, focused.

If I were a braver person, I would take this moment, say it all.

But I've come so long hiding it, trying to walk away, to push it behind me that I know exactly the words that will come out.

"No, you didn't do anything. I've been feeling somewhat tired, that's all, and I've been trying to talk things over with my other family and things, you know how that it is," and I hate that I have to resort to that, to bring them up when they are completely innocent, "and I don't mean it to be that way. Truly."

"Jaejoong, you need to tell me if you're not feeling well. I can't have you collapsing too. We have to always work harder, to be per-" but Yunho stops there when he notices that I'm not looking at him anymore. There's an odd tickling sensation in my throat as my mind races again, thoughts swirling.

"Jaejoong?"

"Hmm?" I look up to see his brows furrowed, mouth frowning. "Ah yeah, sorry, I--" but I can't breathe suddenly when he drags me up and bear hugs me, hard.

"Is there something going on with your family again? No, what's really going on?" he says softly, leaning closer to me so his lips are centimeters away from my ear.

I mouth the words into his chest, I love you, almost wishing they could seep into his heart and be heard. But my hot breath is trapped by his t-shirt, a bubble of hope that can't penetrate the cotton.

He pulls away slightly and looks at me so that I'm not quite suffocating in his warmth.

"What was that?"

"I..." I see him nodding, coaxing, his eyes seeming to plead for me to say the truth. "Iloveyou," it tumbles out, sounds more like "ilubu" and I pull free from his grasp. "I'm already trying to deal with it, and it will pass, I'm sure. So just give me some time, and it'll be okay--"

But I can't continue because, because my lips are suddenly occupied and it's just as quickly gone.

I raise my finger to my lips. And stare at Yunho.

He's blushing slightly, but grins, wide and genuine.

"You don't have to deal with it. We can live it," Yunho says softly. "Together."

[Personal] Gah.

2008-09-14T02:44:40Z

Well, I'm sure some of you saw it coming, but I'm going to be insanely busy with work so I'm declaring a semi-hiatus. TToTT I'll try and catch up in bits, but these next three weeks are going to be intense.

I'm sorry I haven't been commenting on much, but it's just not going to be consistent and I feel like I've been way too behind on everything.

On the plus side, work stress seemed to prompt me into writing so I'll be posting my latest oneshot shortly.

<3,
Em.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2008-09-03T14:09:59Z

a quick one since I'm running to work, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY roselit!!!

[personal] bah.

2008-09-03T05:08:44Z

Long story short, doing thing in batches so slowly catching up on flist. *fails*

In other news, I'm back into fandom with writing and translating! YOSH. Next project: finish translating clip and doujinshi.

[FIC] JaeChun

2008-09-03T01:54:23Z

Title: Color My World
Pairings: JaeChun, though subtle.
Rating: G
Genre: Generic, fluff?
A/N: For milena_1980! ♥♥♥ muchos abrazos y espero que te guste este cuento ^_^

This is something I've been tinkering around with for a while, but it finally came together today. It may be a little cryptic, but I hope you can enjoy it!

Draw
There's an image that always comes to mind, one he finds himself naturally sketching in his notebook. Intense eyes, pouty lips that are slightly open, longish messy hair. He wonders why he dreams of a foreigner, blond hair and blue steel grey eyes looking towards the horizon.

Sometimes it's in profile, other times 3/4, but never head on, looking directly at him. It's not anyone he's seen before, no matter how many times Yoochun tries to wrack his memory for a name, a place, a time.

He sets his coffee down, looks up to watch the people.

He sits alone.

Music
B, C, A, G, he plays, wondering where the bit of melody comes from. He feels like there should be words, but when he opens his mouth, they don't come out and he can only hum the little tune. It's not quite sad, but it's not quite happy either.

He's in a music room, managing to sneak in after a University kid swiped her card. The space is small, three walls of perforated dry wall and a glass door. The piano is old but in-tune.

He sits on the left side, traces the empty space next to him on the bench.

Dance
The boombox blares an old song, and a makeshift floor of cardboard is tossed on the sidewalk. It's a kid, small and scrawny, doing some pop and lock, some basic coffee grinders.

The motion is awkward, unpolished, raw. But there's a fierceness, an intensity and desperation that hits at him hard. He sees the occasional dart of a tongue, a slight unfocused gaze in the boy's expression.

Messy black hair flies out and he notices plastic rings, gummy bracelets, more jewelry than seems appropriate for a dancer.

The boy’s shirt slips and he sees black ink near the neck, in the back.

Photo
He finds a discarded disposable on the ground, near one of the frat houses. There's still some pictures left so he snaps around, peering through the cheap lens of the viewfinder and ratcheting the wheel forward.

A coupon from the local store gives him enough incentive and he waits for the pictures to develop.

They're streaked with red, a haze over the hodgepodge of people he doesn't know, places he doesn't recognize until he finds the last six pictures he took.

He stops at the last picture. It's almost black. But there's a flash of white in the corner, overexposed and bright.

Film
It's Friday and there's a free showing of student films.

Some are animated, some are live action, some are a mix of both, but they leave him mostly indifferent.

The last one is by some sophomore. There's original music and he finds himself soaring through colorful leaves, diving through waters, wandering lush woods.

But while people applaud the finale, a breathtaking vista of mountains, there's a bit of incongruity that sticks with him. It's a train going over a bridge and a shutter flutter effect as the scene changes in the windows. Only the moon and stars are constant.

It feels familiar.

Sculpture
He's in the public park today, the one where they have statues of people sitting on benches, forever frozen in conversation to each other.

He presses his fingers to each one of them, stroking the smooth metal which has turned brownish with age.

The perfect combination is of an older man's nose, a stylish young girl's lips, and a young boy's large eyes.

But the body is too hard to find. None of them are quite tall enough, though he's searching for someone slightly shorter than him, and none of them seem to have the edge, that strength he's looking for.

Paint
Yoochun is simply a name, an entity that allows him a form in this environment.

He realizes that it is the name he has chosen, had almost forgotten his name in his wanderings, in his journey.

Because he's standing in front of it. In New York City. Hubbub and mecca of everything and all in America.

The alarm goes off as he touches the hardened oil and he's home, where he always is.

The stars are always bright and he's there, the moon, perfect and steady to light the dark green of him.

Jaejoong, he rustles, I’m home.

Jaejoong smiles.

[Personal] Shiny happy things

2008-08-22T03:29:55Z

Work's been crazy after coming back (and I need to call Taiwan and Hong Kong tonight), but it's almost the weekend ^_^. and I need some positivity, so...

list time

1) So excited because I will get to meet milena_1980 this weekend \^o^/

2) Doing awesome at today's softball game and getting cheered by the guys. We won by 4 points! :D

3) Lady Gaga "Just Dance." HOLY MOLY GUYS, it's AWESOME CATCHY GOOD.

4) Finally having time to iron and make my shirts presentable. Yeah, I know, I'm a dork. :p

5) A kanji character dictionary/dictionary/English-Japanese-English dictionary all in one for my DS. SWEETNESS. I just draw the kanji and it looks it up for me.

6) SMTown Pics. Oh man. XD.

7) Amazing books like "The Devil in the White City" and "the curious incident of the dog in the night-time."

8) Free lunches from my boss. YUS. Sweetness.

9) Getting a YA package where my black (they say "balck" on YA ^^;;) crown earrings JS style came in :D Now, if they could just sell CM earrings... ^_^

10) Tonic water and lime. It's like adult lemonade.

11) Awesome comfy black flats that don't make my feet look 10 inches wide. Yay!

12) My coworker enjoying the mix CD I made for him. We're both into electronica and ambient, and I finally found some in Chinese for him.

13) Writing six pages on the metro suddenly when a plunny hit me. (HoMin-->JaeHo btw)

14) Seeing an amazing blue orange sunset with the silhouette of the Washington monument obelisk and a circle of flags fluttering in the wind.

Meme!
Snagged this from sharkbait_ha ^_^
step 1: put your music player on shuffle.
step 2: post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
step 3: strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
step 4: for those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is cheating!

1. Imagine smoking weed in the streets without cops harassin
2. They couldn't believe I did it, but I was so committed
3. Naneun mundeuk nuneul tteo dareun nareul heulgigo
4. Moshi mo hitotsu dake, tatta hitotsu dake
~~5. He's a stranger to some and a vision to none~~ From Yesterday, 30 Seconds to Mars (thievingbird)
~~6. Too much of heaven can bring you underground~~ Too Much of Heaven, Eiffel 65 (jirucloud)
7. Love, love, devotion, devotion, feelings, feelings, emotion, emotion
8. Obieta metsuki de, iradatsu omoi uwaki na kaze ni hakisutete
9. Kaze no naka ni mau waraiau koe
~~10. You got a fast car~~ Fast Car, Tracy Chapman (mimei)
11. Kono michi wo hashiri susumu susumu susumu tsuzuketa
~~12. I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned~~ Such Great Heights, The Postal Service (sharkbait_ha)
13. Hada samui ame no hi, wake arigena futari
~~14. Oye como va~~ Oye Como Va, Tito Puente but I actually have the cover version by _____? (sharkbait_ha)
~~15. Early in the morning rising to the street~~ What I got, Sublime (mimei)
16. As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death mimei got the song title and so did keight_michelle ^_^
17. Can't all that booty be all yours
18. Y'all are not, not, not Ready HO
~~19. Los han visto por ahi, los han visto en los tejados~~ Donde Estan Los Ladrones, Shakira (emda)
20. The D.A is dressed to the nines
21. It could all be so simple, but you're rather make it hard
~~22. Rape me~~ Rape Me, Nirvana (jirucloud, mimei, thievingbird)
~~23. Baby baby, how can I forget all the special memories of you~~ My Little Princess, DBSK (onikoinu, emda, thievingbird)
24. Kaze ga kawareba boku no michi sae sukoshi wa mashi ni naru darou
25. Tashi onul bam onusae onusae ssodajinu-nal-bichun my spotlight

Any guesses? ^_^

Alrighty, off to call people for work. I'm out~

[personal] Back! and need to catch up ^^

2008-08-11T00:59:20Z

Hello!! Just got back and it's so nice to be somewhere familiar, in my parent's house and relax. But I'm wiped so have to come back to catch up and respond to everyone ^^;;

Also :D Happy Birthday to skylust!! hope it was good times :DDDD

[personal] a quick one and yay!!

2008-08-07T00:42:41Z

So, I'm going to be somewhat MIA since I'll be going home for my brother's wedding and then it's my vacation ^_^ yayay!! Just chilling at home, but knowing my parents, I'll probably doing lots of errands and things.

Wanted to wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to knockdown!!! Hope you're doing well and enjoying your day of awesome. and you might appreciate this, but I found Prince of Tennis Manga for $1 each and bought all the ones they had (1-20). I'm insane. XDDDDD.

and gotta pack. Like whoa. oh gods. ^^;;;

[random] FANGIRLING XD.

2008-07-30T03:09:40Z

Okay, I have no idea if this is actually a true story, but they did this re-enactment on this Japanese show of DBSK having issues in Japan. The announcer says "But then this happened!" It's probably a joke, but I can sort of see it happening XD.

In either case, check out the clip! and I had, HAD to do a rough translation of this because I can only listen to the other clip that I'm translating right now so many times before I need a break ^^;; (yes I know, rough translation to take a break from translation. I'm weird, yes.)

on a side note, I love how they used music from Liar Game in the Intro and Hana Yori Dango in the emo part. Awesome!

Basically, the clip starts out with them having a hard time getting used to Japan and counting the days when they can return to Korea.

00:01:59
They stayed in their house for three months and then suddenly, something like this happened.

[I have no underwear]

00:02:03
Changmin: Hey! My underwear's gone! Somebody put it on, didn't they?!

Yunho: Well, they all look the same so how are we supposed to know which ones are whose?

Narrator: So afraid and unable to use their Japanese, they couldn't even go to the convenience store to buy underwear.

Narrator: Therefore, the place that they all felt comfortable in buying underwear was the all the same.

Narrator: Of course, there were lots of underwear of all the same kinds.

Narrator: Therefore, in order to distinguish between them, they decided to write their names.

Narrator: However...

00:02:35
[Yoochun]
Jaejoong: Hey, why are you wearing my pair??
Yoochun: Sorry! I didn't realize...
[Junsu]
Jaejoong: Junsu, hey those are mine too!
Jaejoong: Changmin and Yunho, those are mine too!! >_<

Junsu: Hey those are mine~!

Oh man, so funny.

okay, back to looking up more kanji characters~~

[Personal] Musings and such...

2008-07-28T23:28:14Z

Hello~ It's been a crazy weekend and I felt like listing my thoughts in list format today.

+ Could people PLEASE stop calling Jae "umma?" I'm getting kind of tired of it. kthx.

+ There's another hate meme? -_-;;

+ This weekend was awesome as I had hotpot with a whole bunch of people, went bowling with my office (which actually was a lot of fun), and got to oggle a Benz XDD.

+ I found my memory stick! So winged_kame, I hope I can get you the MinSu short story translated for you sooner rather than later~

+ And I'm so late for a GOE;SS thing too. *fails* Of course I picked the clip that had Japanese comedy in it and a ton of text so it's taking me decades to go through.

+ dbsk_rating is open! I'm so excited and interested to see how people see the guys and if my perceptions are similar or not. You all should join ^_^ intrigued to see if you're like Junsu, Yoochun, Jaejoong, Changmin, or Yunho.

+ I know it's only Monday, but I'm already excited because I'll be meeting up with some close college friends of mine for shopping, karaoke, and of course, fangirling. I've converted one of my friends to be a fan of DBSK, Clazziquai, and soon I hope Hwangbo/Hyunjoong XDDD muahahaha.

--> and therefore, the Asian girl squad will reunite! yay. btw, anyone used to watch Strongbad e-mail on Homestarrunner? Just reminded myself of teen girl squad LOL. And if you know what I'm talking about, you ROCK.

+ I've been listening to Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" nonstop. So, SO damn catchy.

+ Also, I've been RPing on Andromeda and man, works so well for a RP n00b like me.

+ Okay, I'm out. Hope you all are doing well and that your weather hasn't been utter CRUD like it has been done here DDD:

[Fic] If you're looking for something deep...

2008-07-21T21:56:15Z

... this is NOT it. XD. Also, this is going to be a post and run, because the intramural softball team needs another female and the game starts in an hour O.O

I was looking over my drafts, and found these two plunnies lurking about. zaiho was so right in saying I'm a batch processor. Yes, I'm still stuck on Sophomore Year... but I'm writing! yay? ^^;; Please don't hit me. And uh, they're both smut. Anyway, I started writing the continuation of my YooMin quickie here and decided that it'd be an interesting prelude to my HoSu here.

In other news, I joined a DBSK RP! Holy moly. I've been wondering if I'd be able to really do it, but I at least want to try and give it a shot. I think my best chances are probably Changmin and maybe Yoochun. Junsu's completely out of my league, followed by Jaejoong and then Yunho I think. We'll see. It's funny though, since I've written Jae a fair amount despite not feeling confident about rping him.

Title: Studio, Part II
Pairing: JaeMinChun
Rating: NC-17
Genre: smut. gah, it got fluffy on me. ^^;;

Changmin's still recovering when Yoochun slowly gets up and heads towards the door.

He opens it abruptly to find Jaejoong, hard, hand in his pants and not looking ashamed at all.

"Did you want to join?" Yoochun lets his hands slither down, cups Jaejoong's erection and grins knowingly at the moan that escapes. "He could suck you off. I'm sure he'd be a fast learner." Yoochun massages harder.

"Y-Yoochun?" They hear Min's voice in the background, sounding worried and nervous. "Is someone there? Shit," and there's rustling of clothes, of metal buckles and zippers.

Yoochun turns around.

"Changminnie, you're not quite done yet," and he drags Jaejoong in and closes the door, locks it.

Changmin looks up at Jaejoong, clutching pants and shirt to his bare body. He immediately blushes and looks angry, embarrassed.

"He wants it, I know," Yoochun whispers to Jae. "We just have to do some convincing."

And Yoochun grabs Jaejoong, kissing him wet, open mouthed, and messy, groping Jae's ass. Jae melts and moans hard, rubs against Chun desperately as their loud smacks echo in the room. Yoochun starts stripping Jae quickly and sinks to his knees, letting his tongue tease the tip of Jae's cock. "Shit, Chun," and his hands grip Chun's hair, pulling Yoochun's mouth closer.

Yoochun's always loved oral sex, mainly for the moans and pants that he can pull out of someone, be it guy or girl. He sucks hard, up and down and looks up at Jaejoong, who's getting quite close to release. He stops when a hand suddenly touches his shoulder and he glances over to see Changmin staring hard. Jaejoong looks down at the both of them.

"I, I want--" and Min swallows.

"Did you want to try, Changminnie? Go on," and Yoochun leads Min towards Jae's erection, which seems to harden even more if possible.

"Go up and down and suck as you go. And no teeth. Relax your throat," Jaejoong says, gentle and calm.

Changmin's cheeks flush even more, but he looks determined. Yoochun watches as the lips open, take in Jae's fullness, the cheeks hollowed in slightly as he can hear the sucking.

"Let your tongue run across the bottom, yes, keep going," Chun says in Min's ear.

Changmin chokes slightly but starts again, rhythmic and harder and faster until Jae is almost thrusting in Min's mouth. Yoochun nods and starts stroking Min, loving the way he moans around Jae's cock.

"Shit, I'm, Min, I'm coming, just stroke it with your hands and close your eyes," and Min can barely react as he pops out and awkwardly places his palm on Jae.

Yoochun places his hand over Min's and strokes it hard.

"He's messy, it will go all over," Yoochun says and suddenly Jae releases, the white heat splattering on Min's face and Yoochun's shoulder.

Changmin follows quick in Yoochun's hand. Jae tumbles and lies gasping on the floor while Min looks slightly shocked. Yoochun groans when he sees Min curiously taste his finger, and then suck each digit, his hand, and even starts to get the drops on his face.

"He tastes good," Min says, "almost salty but sweet," and Yoochun almost loses it. "I like it." He wonders if Changmin will reach for the droplets cooling on his shoulder.

"Didn't expect you to actually come through on this," Jaejoong smirks, in what Yoochun realizes belatedly could be taken entirely the wrong way. Changmin whips his head towards Yoochun.

"What?" Changmin's tone is accusing and hurt. "Oh, I get it. This is some great big joke right, 'let's fuck around with the virgin, it'll be fucking hilarious,' right? Jesus." Changmin tugs at his clothes but winces at the pain that Yoochun knows all too well.

Yoochun's reflexes are quick and he grabs Changmin's arm damn hard. Jaejoong clamps on Changmin's leg.

"Shit Min, is that really how you think we'd be?" Yoochun snaps and Changmin looks defensive. Yoochun's about to mention just how much Changmin has been a fucking tease for months. But Changmin's eyes are slightly glassy and Yoochun rubs his temple to clear his anger.

"Changminnie, we'd never think of you that way. Ever." Jaejoong is quiet but firm, and Yoochun watches Changmin sag slightly, his head bowing down. Jaejoong gets up to kiss Changmin softly, his smile genuine and warm.

"I-I just..."
"Shh...we know." They stand there for a long time, too long, until at last Jaejoong starts grabbing at their clothes, helping Changmin shimmy into his pants.

"Yunho's going to kill us," Changmin groans when he notices how late it is.
"No worries, Junsu should be doing just fine," and Jaejoong pretends to look innocent at the shocked looks of Changmin and Yoochun.

"What, you forgot they had practice a few floors down for that dance thing?"

Yoochun laughs at that, shakes his head.

"It'll take them forever to figure it out."

Title: Fierce
Pairing: HoMin
Rating:NC-17
Genre: Smut. Slight randomness.
A/N: Yeah, I don't know XD. I saw this prompt on the SM kink meme and tried it out. Hopefully someone will enjoy? oh yeah, and it's crossdressing!Min.

He still can't believe how excited Jaejoong is, of all people, but then again, who else was going to help him on this (what he feels) is a stupid idea that probably won't work anyway? He wonders if Jae's sisters suspect anything, but whatever -- Jaejoong's the one asking them, not him.

It's summer and it's hot, so he opts for the white shirt and red puffy ribbon tie, complete with grey pleated skirt. The blazer and vest have got to go. But Jaejoong makes him put on the black knee socks and platform Mary Janes.

"Wear your glasses too!" Jaejoong is entirely too giddy and if it weren't for the fact that he hates being called chicken, he wouldn't be here anyway. After all, he did ask Jaejoong for advice.

It's been at least a few months since he's been going out with Yunho and while things have been incredibly pleasant, Changmin longs for more. He can't believe he found himself a week ago talking to Jaejoong about this, but Jaejoong's known Yunho for longer and knows about relationships and things. In retrospect, as he tugs slightly on the red bow around his collar, he wonders if Yoochun would've been a better choice.

"There! All set. And your legs look amazing."

"Hyung, how the hell did you walk in heels before? These are killing me!"

"Oh, you won't be wearing heels for long. Shit! I hear the door. Okay, I'm out. Have fun!"

Changmin scowls slightly, feeling utterly ridiculous. What if Yunho just laughs? What if this all blows up in his face and his boyfriend thinks he's some kind of freak? He jumps when Jaejoong whispers one last thing before he goes.

"You'll be fine. He'll love it."

Changmin would've kicked Jaejoong if he could just walk in these damn things, but Jae just scampers down the stairs. Changmin almost falls and barely catches himself on the edge of a sofa. He hears some voices, "Changminnie? Nope, haven't seen him. I think he's studying? Bye!" "Uh, okay. See you."

Well, it's showtime, Changmin thinks to himself. He decides that reading a book while he's leaning against the breakfast bar would be best. There's nothing in the kitchen though except a Death Note manga, which slightly ruins the image he's going for. Sighing, he picks it up anyway and decides he might as well go full out and eat a banana at the same time. Maybe he can just pretend the whole thing's a joke? (Changmin's prepared for the worst.) Leaning on one foot, he lets his ass jut out slightly as he props his elbows on the bar. (But not before he gives it his all.)

"Hello? Anyone ho-" Yunho's voice greets him, but Changmin doesn't look up at first. He does hear a thud of plastic and what sounds like snacks and before he can raise his head, he feels hands gripping his hips hard and hot breathing against his neck. He's startled, but calms himself.

"Changminnie," Yunho's voice is hoarse and a little choked, and Changmin can't help but smirk.

"I wanted to try something different, see if this is something you li-," but he's flipped around and pressed hard against the counter edge. He winces slightly but then Yunho's claiming his mouth, needy and wet and full. Even through the denim, Changmin can feel Yunho's hard erection, and he quickly slips his hand down past the boxers and coarse hair.

Yunho comes incredibly quick with a few strokes and Changmin just stares at him in disbelief. Really? Isn't Yunho supposed to have more stamina than this? He can't help the arched eyebrow.

"Shit Min," and Yunho looks somewhat abashed and embarrassed. It doesn't last for long though, because Yunho's hands grip and lift Min on the breakfast bar, spreading his legs wide against the plastic counter.

Min wonders if Jae meant for them to go this far, but he doesn't have time to think as Yunho strips him of his underwear and mouths his erection, almost completely swallowing him whole.

He exclaims, extremely high and panting and to see Yunho's head shoved under a skirt seems incredibly wrong yet arousing. He shudders, almost wails and can barely groan out the words, "I-I'm, co-com," but it's too late and he releases hard into Yunho's mouth before he can think.

He slumps forward, his legs dangling and he feels himself tipping dangerously forward. The couch, blessed saint that it is, helps him once more and he's leaning on Yunho, who's licking at his slightly white streaked lips.

"Should I be disturbed at all that you found me that arousing in drag?" Changmin teases, though quick access with skirts is something he definitely approves of now.

"Anyone who saw your legs and ass would've found you hot," Yunho answers, nibbling Changmin's neck slightly while resting his hands on Min's hips, quietly possessive. "But Jaejoong's wrong. I like it most when you're reading with glasses, that look of concentration you get and how intense you are. Especially when you're eating at the same time. Gods, your mouth."

Changmin can only blush and he feels embarrassed somehow, at the way Yunho can be so honest sometimes. He looks at Yunho, who smiles, but then seems slightly disgruntled and looks pointedly at Changmin's feet. Changmin laughs.

"Don't like the fact that I'm even more taller than you, eh?"
"Shutup. Just take them off. Everything. We're doing this slower, in the bedroom."

Yunho drags him, undressing as he goes, leaving a trail of clothes and shoes in their wake.

A/N: I fail at grammar and couldn't remember. Is it "even more tall than you" or "even more taller?" Or is that just wrong and I should just stick to my original "taller?" Maybe it's "taller than you even more." Bah, fails~ ^^;;

[Meme] 2 for the count~!

2008-07-18T22:36:46Z

And uh yeah, double posting ftw? ^_^ I've been so ready for the weekend, not even funny~

Tagged by milena_1980 ♥

♥ People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

♥ Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people. I've seen this pop up a lot on my flist, so tagging anyone who wants to do this! ^_^

the list
o1◢ How has LJ changed your life?

It's funny, because I actually have another account besides this one that I started for friends in my high school and college. But I haven't updated that one in forever and if anything, it's become a way for me to see what my other friends are doing.

But this account has probably changed my life the most, since I'm allowed to completely indulge in my whims and thoughts and I don't have to deal with disparaging remarks about my taste. To be honest, I would not be comfortable sharing this journal with a lot of the friends I grew up with because they wouldn't be able to understand. As it is, I've only told three people about my love for DBSK and fanfic and yaoi.

It's helped me become more pensive, and to also get back into writing bits of fiction. I've also become more spontaneous and going for the things I want to do. Like going to LA for a weekend or NYC for a weekend. But mostly, it's a chance for me to express a part of myself that I often can't.

o2◢ What do you do before bedtime?

Brush my teeth, browse the internet, and fall asleep to Bigeast episodes or a Banjun drama. I love hearing the boys just as I'm about go to sleep ^_^

o3◢ What is your favorite indulgence food-wise? Was: What are you going to have for dinner tonight?

Dark chocolate molten cake with rasberry sauce. You cut the cake open and the chocolate ganache inside flows out, warm and thick.

o4◢ Aliens have come to invade planet Earth (think a la Independence Day) and you find yourself face to face with one of the aliens, except it has fallen in love with you and asks "Marry me?" What do you do?

I'm imagining the aliens of Independence Day, and MAN, those things freaked me out to be perfectly honest. Also, if they've come to invade then I can't think that any of their intentions are too friendly. So... I'd probably say that I'm not ready to marry at this time, since being overly friendly could lead to turmoil (accusations of fraternizing with the enemy, government interrogations, or trying to utilize me as a spy of some form) while a direct rejection may lead the alien on an angry rampage against the human race. Maybe I'm thinking about this too seriously :pp

o5◢ Are you an introvert or extrovert?

Introvert. I'm only an extrovert when I know everyone's in the same boat as me and I have some knowledge about the situation. But usually, I'm more the type to be quiet and observe and see who is friendly and considerate.

o6◢ Name something you wish you could do in your free time, but don't actually do.

Take language lessons and hip hop classes. Especially Korean hahah.

o7◢ Do you trust easily?

Usually no. I like to have things in my own control and make sure that everything is all set. But sometimes I'm lazy and procrastinate and end up "trusting" someone's capabilities mostly because I'm not diligent enough to re-confirm things. It's a weird situation. Also, I can be gullible sometimes since I tend to take things too literally and don't always catch sarcasm.

o8◢ What personal belonging do you have with you everywhere you go?

Aside from essentials, I would say my cellphone. (it has a cute Olympic Mascot YingYing strap ^^)

o9◢ Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?

Yup. Finances and having my wallet STOLEN. I hate Finances because I have to deal with so many sources and having to confirm everything over and over is a pain since I'm not the one directly responsible for payments. GAH. Middle management sucks sometimes.

1o◢ What is your best quality?

hmmm... I'm not sure. Being supportive to those I am closest too?

11◢ Do you plan on changing questions in this meme, or are you too lazy for that?

Yup, did one already!

12◢ How do you see yourself?

An idealistic dreamer who goes at her own pace and tries to see the positive side of things.

13◢ Who are currently the most important people to you?

Family and friends. SO MUCH LOVE!!

14◢ What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Seriously, she's one of the reasons why LJ has become such a great place for me and I love how I can talk with her, about anything and nothing for hours, even though we haven't met in person. That's just amazing. I never knew one could find a connection that way as I'm on the shy side, but man. She's funny, smart, silly, loving, and awesome to the max. *BESOS*

15◢ Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?

This is hard, because my biggest fear in life is being alone. But I think single & rich, because at the very least, I wouldn't have to worry about paying for basics like housing and food. Marriage doesn't mean happiness or not feeling alone either. There's no guarantees with marriage. But at least if one has money, one can support oneself and live.

This is not necessarily a question comparing love and riches, though the question may imply it to be so. I think one has to be realistic and though love can take you far in a relationship, no matter what, you will always need money to support yourself. (and this is usually where people see the Capricorn in me)

16◢ How many children do you want to have, if any?

Two at least. I can't imagine raising an only child, because I'd be terribly afraid of spoiling him/her rotten.

17◢ What's better to give or to receive?

Going to be totally honest and say that I love to receive. Anyone who says they do not like to receive is lying. (on a side note, that reminds me of a quote from Princess Bride. "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.")

18◢ If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

I would hang out with both of them as friends and try and get to know them each better... then make a decision. I know myself too well to know that a threesome would not work with my personality. I am the type to commit, for life.

19◢ Would you have 100% safe sex with a stranger for $10,000,000?

I'm not sure. Perhaps. (the slightly sad part is my brain of course was like "would oral be sufficient?" am I just weird? -_-;;)

2o◢ What were your parents going to name you if you'd been born the opposite gender?

I'm not sure actually. I do know that I might have been named Mikiko after my great-grandmother who lived until 98.

Honesty meme

[x] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.

[ ] I have a tattoo.
[ ] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[ ] I'm in school
[x] I have a job
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[ ] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[x] I've stolen something from my job (paper)
[ ] I've been fired

Embarrassment
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation. (this was for SARCASTIC purposes mind you)
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[ ] I've snorted while laughing. (I don't think I CAN snort. I've tried actually. Is that weird? :3)
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something.
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[x] I've gotten stitches/staples. (I was three and my brother decided that a tug of war with a colander would be a great idea. Not so much for my mouth.)
[ ] I've broken a bone
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctor's office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[x] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.
[ ] I've had measles

Traveling
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day. (and it was in a horrible, rental car, white hearse looking vehicle called the Dodge Caliber. Hated it.)
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[x] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[ ] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas. (yeah college!)
[ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play. (middle school count?)
[x] I've met someone in person from myspace/ LIVEJOURNAL (I actually have another account I don't use anymore for people I met in high school and college)
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[x] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship. (is this bad? I always wonder...)

Sexuality
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I've had a crush on a teacher. (my Spanish teacher. He was young and in his 30's and had a very cute goatee)
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking. (I usually am the one taking care of everyone -_-;;)
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've smoked weed
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. (so yummy and feel good on throat!)
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[ ] I shut others out when I'm depressed. (actually, I tend to cling to others)
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[ ] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[ ] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I've woken up crying.
[x] I'm afraid of dying.
[ ] I hate funerals.
[ ] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[x] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[x] I own something from Pac Sun.
[x] I collect comic books. (but not a lot really)
[x] I own something from The Gap
[ ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random
[ ] I can sing well.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news. (local news in the morning to wake up)
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[x] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[ ] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I love being neat.
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[ ] I bake well.
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[x] I've worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun
[ ] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes. (I am very much like Junsu in this way)
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[ ] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish
[ ] I love white chocolate
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[ ] I'm good at remembering faces.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names.
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

[Fic] JaeMin?! also some fangirling ^^

2008-07-18T22:20:55Z

OMG dudes, the PICTURES! XDDDD Some of them are amazing and I LOVE the Chanmgin+bike looks because he looks so natural and his age while others I sort have to laugh at (sorry Yunnie, I love you babe, but all I can think about is Rambo). I still can't believe it sold out on YA! man... crazy crazy.

In other news, I've been getting back into writing and this was one of the plunnies I had finished. It's somewhat short and simple, but I'm trying to get my flow back. Thanks to the amazing dbsk generator for the prompt and mrsedjack for the encouragement. Hope you enjoy!

Title: I'm Singing in the Sky [prompt]
Pairing: Changmin x Jaejoong
Rating: PG
Genre: Fluff, romance
Summary: Kisses from the sky with rain in the summer. Jaejoong happens upon an introspective Changmin one July day.
Word Count: ~500

Changmin has an unhealthy habit of going outside in the rain, of standing with his eyes closed and letting the droplets freckle his face, dot his shirt, ping his hair. The pitter patter soon turns to a dull roar as the summer storm begins. Thunder rumbles. The humid warmth finally turns cool and Changmin is grateful for the rain.

He loves to look up at the street lamps, to watch the lines of water race down, highlighted by the yellow light. It's a moving texture moment, something that will never fail to catch his eye. He's always keen on finding those small moments, those bits of beauty in the ordinary, in the missed details. The struggle of green that manages to grow in the underground subway, the abandoned wicker basket which he imagines was from a picnic long ago, the tuft of blue cloth with white polka dots reminding him of swimsuits and the beach -- he hordes those moments and captures them with his precious camera, writes about them in his notebook.

There aren't very many people around. Most of them are inside their homes while others hurry to their destinations. No one's looking with their heads tucked under raincoats and umbrellas so he's free to meander, to explore the streets in peace.

There are some flowers arranged in a bucket outside a small grocery store that catch Min's attention. He fingers the multi-colored tulips, bright and sunny against the wet sidewalk. They're protected by the awning and Changmin joins them. The clouds start to move. The rain starts to lessen.

He notices the glass doors slide open and grins at the unexpected surprise in front of him.

"Jaejoong!" He exclaims and is about to hug his lover.

"Changminnie? Oh Christ, you're soaking wet again." Jae's trying to maneuver the plastic bags, all the while scooting slightly away from Changmin. "Let's get you home alright? Did you even bring an umbrella?"

"Nope!" Changmin's grinning ear to ear and Jaejoong realizes he's in one of those silly moods, the ones where he's lost in his thoughts and utterly not in this world. He shakes his head but can't help the wry smile tugging at his mouth.

They huddle under Jae's purple umbrella, clutching at the various plastic bags that keep knocking against their sides. Changmin's babbling today, about little kids, about brooks, about secret paths, about shocks of red flowers, everything. Jaejoong just nods, wishing that they could all take little breaks like these to do as they like, to have their own time.

"I wish we could always do this," Changmin says, echoing Jaejoong's thoughts. Jaejoong looks up at him. He expects Changmin to look dejected, down, but Min is instead looking thoughtful. "But it makes me appreciate moments like these even more."

And Changmin is leaning towards him, smelling of grass and cinnamon, giving Jae no time to react as wet lips glance across his. Jaejoong's vaguely aware that he's clutching the plastic bags too tightly, that they're standing in the middle of the sidewalk where anyone could see. His eyes are closed but he senses the umbrella tumble down from Min's grasp.

He lets go, too. And feels.

The taste of rain against Changmin is one he drinks at, slow and forever.

[Personal/Meme] Rainy days and writing~

2008-06-30T22:23:17Z

Gah. It's been such on and off weather lately with sunny hot days and rainy thunderstorms the next. I'm just glad I'm not on the intramural softball team for today's game. Not a fan of the mud and gunk. But our game last week was awesome! We creamed them at 25-13. Our record is now an unimpressive 1-7 ^^;;

I finally feel like I'm catching up on sleep but this also means having to catch up on some work. But I've done some translations! ^_^ and for a DBSK doujinshi no less XD. It's good times.

I've been trying to get back into writing, but I'm not liking any of things that are coming out. What's scary is that I have 30 Gmail drafts of unfinished plunnies. Insane O.O. I did manage to finish a short JaeMin, but I have to look over it again and see if I like it. I think I need to hack it with the edit scissors.

Anyway, I was tagged ages ago by milena_1980 for this meme and I'm finally doing it! sorry for the uber lateness ^^;;

It's funny, I had forgotten this old JaeMin I had written AGES ago. It's a little scary to go back and read some of these ^^;; some I'm okay with and others... well, maybe I should edit them haha.

Chaptered
Sophomore Year, JaeMin, On-going, 13/? overall PG-13, some R/NC-17 chapters
Shifting Phases, HoSu, Complete, 3 Chapters, PG
The Gentleman and the Trickster, YooMin, Complete, 9 Chapters+Epilogue, R
Ten Commandments, Changmincentric, Complete, 10 Chapters (uh, DUH), R
The Daily Commute and The Daily Grind, JaeHo, Complete, Doubleshot, NC-17

Oneshots
Comfort, Yunchun, PG
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 JaeSuChun SMUT, NC-17
Studio, YooMin, NC-17
Secrets, JaeMin, NC-17
Perspectives, General, R for language
Tomboys and Girly girls, YooMin, NC-17 like whoa
成人(Seijin, which means "adult" or "coming of age year" in Japanese), Changmincentric, G
Yoochun Dissect, Yoochun, vignette flashfic, G
Yunho Debate, HoMin, vignette flashfic, PG
Sharing, JaeHoMin, R
The New Year, JaeHo, PG
Just a Day?, JaeMin, G
PWP, JaeMin, NC-17

Which one has the most reviews?
"The Gentleman and The Trickster" overall. Yay for my first completed chaptered fic! ^_^

Least?
The Yoochun and Yunho vignettes, which makes sense since I only posted them in my own LJ and they're both really, really short. I still like the Yunho one, but I'm not so sure on my Yoochun one now. I think my views have changed.

Which fanfiction has the most words?
Sophomore Year.

Which fanfiction has the most chapters?
Again, Sophomore Year. It's been what, two years? Holy cow.

What category are the majority of your fanfictions in?
One-shots because my track record for chaptered fics is not so great. I have a YunChun in the works but I'm going to WRITE all the chappies out first before so I don't have another Sophomore Year episode.

What do you like most in reviews: Quality or Quantity?
I like both, since it always makes me so happy to see comments. It helps to see if people are still interested in a story and it also helps to see what things worked for people, what didn't. So long as you leave me something, I'm very happy.

Have any of your fanfictions made it into at least one C2?
Hahah, this is definitely a fanfiction.net question. Doesn't really apply for LJ, since posts on comms are submitted by the authors themselves.

Are any of your fanfictions on at least one person's favorites list?
I was going to say, no idea since nobody's told me, but someone recently did tell me they mem'd my fic! XD crazy. That's always awesome. But yeah, who knows? At least I can say one person mem'd my fic.

Are any of your fanfictions on at least one person's alert list?
I have no idea. Anyway, how can you tell on LJ unless someone tells you?

What genre do you most frequently write in?
Romance. I don't usually do overly angsty or overly silly, but in the end, I do like having a happy ending. I'm a SAP.

Do you leave comments before and after a chapter?
Before.

Do you update frequently?
Ummm... depends. My LJ is updated pretty frequently with a bit of writing at least once a month, but my longest fic, Sophomore Year has very sporadic updates. (I know! Please don't brick me. *runs away*) I usually plan out my stories and outlines, but Sophomore Year is completely organic. That's why it takes me so long to update and I usually have to re-read the old chapters to figure out where I'm going.

Do you frequently use original characters?
Nope.

Are any of your fanfictions based on things that happened to you in real life?
Yes. I like to base my stories on something I know, so they sound a little more realistic and believable. Obviously, my life isn't always that interesting or exciting.

Out of all the stories, Sophomore Year (as you probably have guessed) is the one closest to my real life.

and a connection I never realized until this weekend with BoA and Dream.

song similarities...
I first heard BoA's "Listen to My Heart" a few months ago and it sounded incredibly catchy and... familiar. But I didn't think of it until this weekend when my friend busted out her old mix CDs... and the song came on except with English lyrics. Holy cow! It was Dreams "He Loves U Not" and I remember the music video because of the pink leather and the main vocal girl not being a stick figure (and looking healthy for once).

which was released in 2001.

which was released in 2002.

Sigh. ah well. They're both catchy and good and music producers are always sampling so what can you do?